FamilyFun™ introduces PRE’s all-inclusive approach to family entertainment, where birthdays, games, food and carefully engineered excitement are conveniently gathered beneath one roof. Every visit creates memories, rewards participation and provides another opportunity to return. Children remaining after closing time will not be abandoned. Their continued engagement is valuable to us.
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PRE™ • (Advert) FamilyFun [Entertainment Complex] • The Adjustment Period
BUY
TEXT
This Weekend Only
At Familyfun™ Megaplex
Laser lights and pizza dreams
Birthday packages and dopamine streams
Animatronic mascots know your name
Every visit rewires your brain
Familyfun™
Everybody Smile
Familyfun™
Stay For A While
Children remaining after closing time
Will be absorbed into the rewards program
Some messages arrive too late.
Others never quite leave.
Fax Machine Heartbreak looks back at the imperfect machines people once trusted with important things. Answering machines, cassette tapes, payphones and fax lines preserve voices badly, allowing memories to fade, distort and occasionally return without warning. Technology moves on, but the messages left behind continue repeating for anyone still listening. Eventually even that private nostalgia is interrupted. PRE would like your attention back.
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PRE™ • Fax Machine Heartbreak • The Adjustment Period
BUY
TEXT
Message received
Message unclear
Please hold
Answering machine blinking in an empty flat
Three AM television glowing pale blue static
Cheap blinds rattling against rainy windows
Somebody smoking quietly on the fire escape
Your voice trapped inside cassette tape fragments
Played back softer every passing week
Old receipts scattered beside cold coffee cups
Like evidence from a failed relationship
The radiator knocks in uneven rhythms
Neighbours arguing through paper-thin walls
Late-night infomercials promise transformation
Nobody on the screen looks fully alive
Streetlights bleeding through nicotine curtains
Everything smells faintly electrical tonight
Leave a message after the tone
Leave a message after the tone
Fax Machine Heartbreak
Static where your voice should be
Fax Machine Heartbreak
Love lost in bad fidelity
Neon reflections, midnight trains
Dead phone lines and window rain
Everybody searching for connection
Through machines too old to care
Payphone numbers fading from memory
Tiny human moments swallowed by progress
Photocopied photographs losing detail slowly
Faces dissolving into grain and shadows
Somewhere downtown the last video store closes
Without ceremony or final applause
Taxi lights drift across wet concrete
Like tired satellites above the city
You said forever through distorted speakers
I still hear it in electrical hums
The fax machine screams in the next room suddenly
Like the building itself remembered something
Morning arrives colourless and exhausted
Another transmission nobody answers
Maybe every machine remembers us a little
Tiny ghosts trapped in the circuitry
Repeating old messages forever
Call Waiting
Call Waiting
Call Waiting
Fax Machine Heartbreak
Static where your voice should be
Fax Machine Heartbreak
Love lost in bad fidelity
Neon reflections, midnight trains
Dead phone lines and window rain
Everybody searching for connection
Through machines too old to care
Fax Machine Heartbreak
Every memory degrades with time
Fax Machine Heartbreak
Your last words trapped between the lines
Signal fading, tape decay
Some feelings never transmit clean
Everybody haunted by the ghosts
Inside forgotten answering machines
The future arrived early.
The warranty has since expired.
Neon Autopsy cuts into the polished optimism of the eighties and examines what was underneath. Shopping malls, MTV, video stores, advertising, credit and manufactured rebellion offered a future of endless choice while quietly teaching an entire culture how to consume itself. The decade eventually ended. Many of its promises simply changed packaging.
Attention shoppers
The future is now operational
Please remain calm while the century recalibrates
Shopping mall glowing like a nuclear sunrise
Orange Julius vapor and artificial fries
Teenagers orbit the arcade machines
Learning self-worth from fluorescent screens
Every storefront screaming personality
Mass-produced rebellion in multiple sizes
Corporate mannequins with cocaine smiles
Posing for the end of western civilization
Credit card chrome reflects dead eyes
MTV bleeding into twenty-four-hour lies
Security guards drifting through fake palm trees
Like priests in the church of consumer disease
The fountains smell faintly metallic tonight
Somebody spray-painted love is a product outside
Buy now
Act now
Upgrade your loneliness
Limited time only
Neon Autopsy
Cut the decade open wide
Neon Autopsy
See the circuitry inside
Plastic dreams and shopping scars
Satellite gods and rental cars
Everybody dancing while the ceiling caved
Smiling like the future could still be saved
Video rental aisles like sacred tombs
Action movie prophets predicting doom
Kids eating microwave popcorn dinners
Watching game shows crown temporary winners
Fitness instructors on cathode-ray tape
Teaching aerobic routines for escaping fate
Every politician looked chemically preserved
Every advertisement screamed you deserve more
Payphones ringing with nobody there
Static electricity thick in the air
Synthesizers buzzing like mosquito swarms
Wall Street feeding on synthetic storms
The entire planet wrapped in mirrored glass
Disco smoke drifting through the upper class
Somewhere behind the static
Somebody realized the future felt cheap
But the music kept playing anyway
More More More More
Stay Beautiful
Stay Productive
Stay Entertained
Dance through the collapse
Neon Autopsy
Cut the decade open wide
Neon Autopsy
See the circuitry inside
Plastic dreams and shopping scars
Satellite gods and rental cars
Everybody dancing while the ceiling caved
Smiling like the future could still be saved
Neon Autopsy
Every channel sold a different truth
Neon Autopsy
Everybody worshipped plastic youth
Laser lights and credit schemes
Synthetic love and nicotine dreams
Everybody laughing while the markets burned
Nobody noticed when the future turned
Attention shoppers
The eighties are now closed
Please collect your belongings
And your manufactured memories
Rest has been measured.
Results remain encouraging.
Wellness Update reports on the continuing success of PRE’s consumer wellbeing programme. Sleep, dreams, emotional stability and recovery are reduced to performance indicators, allowing something as private as rest to be assessed against agreed objectives. The results are reassuring: turbulence is declining, efficiency is improving and consumer wellbeing remains comfortably within expected parameters. Thank you for resting responsibly.
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PRE™ • (Transmission) Wellness Update • The Adjustment Period
BUY
Buh-Bye Keir is RebelliousBard’s thoroughly unsentimental farewell to Keir Starmer after a premiership that lasted less than two years. Farmers, pensioners, immigration, taxation, two-tier justice and the endless procession of nicknames all get one final outing as the song surveys what RebelliousBard regards as an extraordinarily destructive period of government. There is no gracious send-off and no sudden outbreak of respect for the office. Starmer is leaving; the argument here is that Britain still has to live with what he leaves behind.
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RebelliousBard • Buh-Bye Keir • Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?
BUY
FOR THE RECORD
Oh Keir Starmer… finally packing your bags
Two years too late, but who’s counting?
Two Tier Keir, never here when it mattered most
Captain Hindsight, always late to the post
Sir Kid Starver, Free Gear Keir in your fancy suit
Starmer the Farmer Harmer — what an absolute hoot
Taxed the land, froze out the old, cut the fuel in the cold
While the boats kept coming and the stories were sold
You smiled for the cameras, said change is here
While the country fell apart year after year
Buh bye Keir, don’t let the door hit your chin
Two Tier Keir, finally packing it in
Captain Hindsight with your free gear and spin
The country’s breathing , now the mess begins
Buh bye Keir, what a legacy of pain
Destroyed the farmers, froze out the old again
Two Tier Keir, never here when we needed you most
Just another suit selling lies coast to coast
You promised the world, delivered the knife
Taxed the inheritance, ended rural life
Pensioners freezing while the boats sailed in
Media protected you through thick and thin
Sir Kid Starver with your moral high ground
Left kids in danger while the numbers compound
Free Gear Keir taking whatever he can
While the rest of us suffered under your plan
Buh bye Keir, don’t let the door hit your chin
Two years too late, you finally walked away
Left the country broken, now you want praise
But who comes next from this selection of nothing?
More of the same, just different clothing
The damage is done, the trust is gone
We’re breathing again… but the fight’s just begun
Buh bye Keir, don’t let the door hit your chin
Two Tier Keir, finally packing it in
Captain Hindsight with your free gear and spin
The country’s breathing — now the mess begins
Buh bye Keir, what a legacy of pain
Destroyed the farmers, froze out the old again
Two Tier Keir, never here when we needed you most
Just another suit selling lies coast to coast
Buh bye Keir
Buh bye Keir
What a legacy
What comes next?
WHY THIS SONG EXISTS
Buh-Bye Keir was written for the end of Keir Starmer’s premiership. After entering Downing Street following Labour’s landslide election victory in July 2024, Starmer announced his resignation in June 2026, less than two years later, following collapsing personal ratings and mounting political pressure. At his lowest point, Ipsos recorded just 13% satisfied with his performance and 79% dissatisfied, the lowest satisfaction rating in its prime-ministerial series dating back to 1977. RebelliousBard had spent much of those two years attacking Starmer’s government, so the resignation was never going to receive a dignified little farewell. This is the closing statement: good riddance to a prime minister RebelliousBard believes left the country worse than he found it, followed immediately by the rather less comforting question of what comes next.
Every signal needs a voice.
Every audience prefers a face.
The Face of Entertainment introduces the human figure at the centre of PRE’s public image. Presenter, performer, spokesman and reassurance mechanism become indistinguishable as familiarity is carefully converted into trust. His face appears wherever the signal requires it, offering comfort, distraction and something recognisably human to look at. PRE understands that people find systems easier to accept when somebody smiles while explaining them.
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PRE™ • The Face Of Entertainment • The Adjustment Period
BUY
TEXT
Citizens
you are witnessing premium entertainment infrastructure
Front page face in fluorescent light
Smile calibrated every night
Chrome reflections on my teeth
Selling comfort underneath
Every billboard knows my name
Every breakdown feeds the flame
Neon heartbeat, corporate grace
Perfect angles, perfect face
Watch Me
Trust Me
Need Me
Repeat
I’m The Face Of Entertainment
The sound inside your head
I turn panic into rhythm
Sell you comfort instead
I’m The Face Of Entertainment
Your favourite controlled disease
If the signal starts to fail you
Look at me and stay at ease
Magazine gods and plastic saints
Airbrush smiles and nervous paint
Every camera loves the fall
So I never stop at all
Artificial superstar
Still don’t know what people are
Every room becomes my stage
Every screen becomes my cage
Watch me
Love me
Buy me
Obey
I’m The Face Of Entertainment
The sound inside your walls
Every lonely little heartbeat
Echoes when the system calls
I’m The Face Of Entertainment
Your beautiful corporate scar
If you feel yourself collapsing
Just remember who you are
I’m The Face Of Entertainment
Static glory never ends
Everybody needs a hero
Even synthetic ones pretend
Preparation was never intended
to continue indefinitely.
Audience Preparation Nearing Completion records the point at which PRE considers its introductory work effectively finished. Recognition is established, public response remains acceptable, and further orientation is no longer considered necessary. What the audience has been prepared for is not specified. Only that the next procedure may now begin.
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PRE™ • (Transmission) Audience Preparation Nearing Completion • The Adjustment Period
BUY
The signal was never approaching.
Recognition simply took time.
I Am Already Here concludes the programme by removing the last distinction between PRE and the background systems surrounding its audience. The voice has travelled through advertising, retail, workplaces, transport, entertainment and the countless automated interactions no longer considered remarkable. There is no final arrival and no introduction left to make. By the time the signal is recognised, familiarity has already done its work.
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PRE™ • I Am Already Here • The Adjustment Period
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TEXT
You have already heard me
In elevators and pharmacy aisles
Inside advertisements made for children
In the pause before late-night broadcasts
In processed laughter loops and shopping music
Behind automatic checkout voices
Beneath weather reports and station IDs
Inside motivational workplace seminars
And luxury apartment TV screens
Stay awake
Stay responsive
Remain available
Remain receptive
I am already here
I am already here
Inside the signal
Inside the static
I am already here
I am already here
I am already here
Your entertainment
Has been updated
I am already here
In frozen-food fluorescent silence
In the smiles of synthetic receptionists
Inside recommendation algorithms
And pre-approved emotional responses
Through headphones on exhausted commuters
Across giant entertainment districts
Inside twenty-second sponsored visions
And every screen reflecting your face
Recognition has been achieved.
Introduction is becoming unnecessary.
Familiarity Increasing records the point at which PRE begins to measure recognition rather than simply seek attention. Public response exceeds expectations, retention remains stable and familiarity continues to rise. The transmission offers no explanation for what the signal contains or why recognition matters. By its conclusion, PRE has determined that the important part has already happened: you know what you are hearing.
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PRE™ • (Transmission) Familiarity Increasing • The Adjustment Period
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TEXT
Signal familiarity increasing
Signal Familiarity Increasing
Signal Familiarity Increasing
Familiarity creates recognition.
Recognition allows the signal to travel.
You Will Know My Voice follows PRE beyond its own transmissions and into the ordinary systems already competing for attention. Announcements, entertainment, customer service, wellness and advertising begin to share the same reassuring voice until its source matters less than its familiarity. PRE treats this not as intrusion but successful integration: recognition creates comfort, comfort creates trust, and eventually the signal no longer needs to announce its arrival.
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PRE™ • You Will Know My Voice • The Adjustment Period
BUY
TEXT
Attention is a form of gravity
When the screens begin speaking clearly
You will know my voice immediately
Through supermarket speakers at midnight
Through apartment walls and fluorescent light
Inside delayed train announcements
And wellness podcasts for commuters
Beneath automated customer service
And algorithmically selected humour
Stay attentive
Stay receptive
Stay available
Stay near the signal
You Will Know
You Will Know
You Will Know My Voice
You Will Know
You Will Know
When The Signal Arrives
![(Advert) FamilyFun [Entertainment Complex]](https://bardrecords.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/FamilyFun-Entertainment-Complex.png)
