The bags are packed.
The damage isn’t.
Buh-Bye Keir is RebelliousBard’s thoroughly unsentimental farewell to Keir Starmer after a premiership that lasted less than two years. Farmers, pensioners, immigration, taxation, two-tier justice and the endless procession of nicknames all get one final outing as the song surveys what RebelliousBard regards as an extraordinarily destructive period of government. There is no gracious send-off and no sudden outbreak of respect for the office. Starmer is leaving; the argument here is that Britain still has to live with what he leaves behind.
Oh Keir Starmer… finally packing your bags
Two years too late, but who’s counting?
Two Tier Keir, never here when it mattered most
Captain Hindsight, always late to the post
Sir Kid Starver, Free Gear Keir in your fancy suit
Starmer the Farmer Harmer — what an absolute hoot
Taxed the land, froze out the old, cut the fuel in the cold
While the boats kept coming and the stories were sold
You smiled for the cameras, said change is here
While the country fell apart year after year
Buh bye Keir, don’t let the door hit your chin
Two Tier Keir, finally packing it in
Captain Hindsight with your free gear and spin
The country’s breathing , now the mess begins
Buh bye Keir, what a legacy of pain
Destroyed the farmers, froze out the old again
Two Tier Keir, never here when we needed you most
Just another suit selling lies coast to coast
You promised the world, delivered the knife
Taxed the inheritance, ended rural life
Pensioners freezing while the boats sailed in
Media protected you through thick and thin
Sir Kid Starver with your moral high ground
Left kids in danger while the numbers compound
Free Gear Keir taking whatever he can
While the rest of us suffered under your plan
Buh bye Keir, don’t let the door hit your chin
Two years too late, you finally walked away
Left the country broken, now you want praise
But who comes next from this selection of nothing?
More of the same, just different clothing
The damage is done, the trust is gone
We’re breathing again… but the fight’s just begun
Buh bye Keir, don’t let the door hit your chin
Two Tier Keir, finally packing it in
Captain Hindsight with your free gear and spin
The country’s breathing — now the mess begins
Buh bye Keir, what a legacy of pain
Destroyed the farmers, froze out the old again
Two Tier Keir, never here when we needed you most
Just another suit selling lies coast to coast
Buh bye Keir
Buh bye Keir
What a legacy
What comes next?
Buh-Bye Keir was written for the end of Keir Starmer’s premiership. After entering Downing Street following Labour’s landslide election victory in July 2024, Starmer announced his resignation in June 2026, less than two years later, following collapsing personal ratings and mounting political pressure. At his lowest point, Ipsos recorded just 13% satisfied with his performance and 79% dissatisfied, the lowest satisfaction rating in its prime-ministerial series dating back to 1977. RebelliousBard had spent much of those two years attacking Starmer’s government, so the resignation was never going to receive a dignified little farewell. This is the closing statement: good riddance to a prime minister RebelliousBard believes left the country worse than he found it, followed immediately by the rather less comforting question of what comes next.