Expires At Nine.

Today’s firm commitment.
Expires at nine.

Expires at Nine takes aim at a government increasingly fond of strategies, consultations, guidance and reassuring announcements while borders, defence and national security remain permanently under review. For RebelliousBard, another plan is no substitute for capability, preparation or action. When every failure produces a new document and every promise comes with a shelf life, perhaps the only thing Britain can reliably defend is the paperwork.

► BUY
EVIDENCE

The border is controlled.
So we’re told.
The military is ready.
In theory.
Britain is secure.
Presumably.
Please see the enclosed leaflet for further details.

A country has a border
Or it’s colouring on a map
Wave them through, lose track of who
Then call the questions crap
Hotels full, another boat
Another statement from the top
Everything is under control
They just can’t seem to make it stop

No country without borders
That’s apparently extreme
Much easier to manage
If you redefine what borders mean

Watch the lips
Wait for the line
Today’s firm commitment
Expires at nine

No border
No defence
No country
Makes perfect sense

Stop the training
Print advice
Put it in colour
That’ll be nice

No border
No defence
Nothing left to hold
But another bloody pamphlet
Telling Britain to be bold

Cut the ranks and call it modern
Cancel training, save the cash
Every year another promise
Every promise built to last

Till the budget
Till the briefing
Till another target slips
Then the men who won’t defend us
Stand and lecture us on risk

You can’t rehearse a war
With a strategy and a screen
You can’t defend a country
If defence becomes a theme

But don’t worry, troops
There’ll probably be a module
Teaching soldiering by June

Watch the lips
Here comes the line
National security
Has never looked so fine
Possibly.

No border
No defence
No country
Makes perfect sense

Stop the training
Print advice
Put it in colour
That’ll be nice

No border
No defence
Nothing left to hold
But another bloody pamphlet
Telling Britain to be bold

Problem with integration?
There’s a leaflet for the men
Problem with the public?
Build a little game for them
Problem with the military?
There’ll be guidance by July
Problem with the government?

Watch their lips
and wonder why

Every failure gets a slogan
Every scandal gets a phrase
Every promise has a shelf life
Measured now in working days
Nothing ever quite collapses
It gets renamed and reviewed

Then relaunched on Monday morning
New font.
Same fucking news.

They don’t solve it.
They announce it.

They don’t defend it.
They redefine it.

They don’t control it.
They produce guidance.

And when the guidance fails?
Consultation.
Probably.

No border
But we’re sovereign

No training
But prepared

No answers
But a minister
Is deeply, deeply concerned

No backbone
But a podium

No action
But a plan

No fucking clue
What happens next

But there’s a leaflet
if you can.

No border
No defence
No country
Makes perfect sense

Cancel practice
Print advice
Put it in colour
That’ll be nice

No border
No defence
Still they tell us all is well
While the people running Britain
Couldn’t organise themselves

Watch the lips
Wait for the lie
Today’s firm commitment
Expires at nine

Britain is secure.
So we’re told.

In the event of national emergency
please remain calm
and read the enclosed leaflet.
Carefully.


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