Apparently, “not my usual”
isn’t the same as “not me.”
Not My Usual is about the small pleasure of realising nobody else gets a vote anymore. I went looking for clothes, tried on things I’d normally walk straight past and spent slightly more than I intended. Nothing profound happened. I just stopped asking whether something looked like the person I’d been for the last eleven years. The jacket was unnecessary, the bags were getting heavy and I probably didn’t need half of it. I had a very nice afternoon.
I only came in for a look
That’s what I told myself
Now there’s six things on my arm
And three more on the shelf
The green one’s probably too much
The red one’s slightly tight
The woman says it suits me
So naturally, she’s right
I would’ve put it back before
Said it’s not really me
Funny how much easier that gets
When no one’s there to disagree
It’s not my usual
That’s why I like it
Little too bright
Might still buy it
I don’t need somewhere
Special to wear it
If it looks good
That’s reason enough
It’s not my usual
Maybe that’s the point
I’ve had the usual
Long enough
I tried the sensible one first
It made me look like work
The blue one nearly had a chance
Until I saw the skirt
I found a jacket half price
That I absolutely don’t need
Walked around the shop without it
Then went back for it at three
I used to hear an opinion
Before I’d even left the room
Now the only voice I’m listening to
Says get the better shoes
It’s not my usual
That’s why I like it
Little too bright
Might still buy it
I don’t need somewhere
Special to wear it
If it looks good
That’s reason enough
It’s not my usual
Maybe that’s the point
I’ve had the usual
Long enough
Two bags and a coffee
More than I meant to spend
I’ll probably take one thing back
Probably
Not today
It’s not my usual
That’s why I like it
Little too bright
Already bought it
I don’t need somewhere
Special to wear it
If it looks good
That’s reason enough
It’s not my usual
Maybe that’s the point
I’ve had the usual
Long enough