Your privacy matters.
Right up until somebody can make money from it.
Light Touch grew out of growing calls to replace Britain’s data protection laws with a more “light-touch” approach in the name of innovation, AI and economic growth. Apparently the real obstacle to progress wasn’t a lack of technology, investment or ideas. It was the irritating habit of ordinary people expecting to know who was collecting their information and why. Funny how privacy is always described as a fundamental right until it starts slowing somebody’s business plan. Then it quietly becomes paperwork, bureaucracy and something we’d all be better off having a little less of. Just trust them. Probably.
Your privacy matters to us.
It’s just becoming
a little inconvenient.
Fill in your name, tell us where you live
Tell us who you voted for, there’s prizes to give
Tell us who you’ll vote for when election day comes
Maybe your whole street gets the heating bill done
Nothing suspicious, it’s a harmless little game
Just your politics, your postcode and your name
Then somebody asks what you’re gathering it for
Funny how nobody likes that question anymore
Privacy’s important
That’s what they always say
Right until the regulations
Start getting in the way
Light touch, light touch
Cut the red tape down
All those pesky little rules
Getting business off the ground
Your data’s safe with us
Probably
That’s the line
Just give us fewer rules
And everything will be fine
Light touch, light touch
Nothing here to see
Funny how your privacy
Became bureaucracy
Now GDPR’s the villain, strangling enterprise
Too many awkward questions about who gets what and why
Innovation needs your data, AI needs feeding too
Apparently the problem is the law protecting you
Access and objection, deletion if you please
Awful lot of rights when there’s money in the machine
So strip away the burden, let the future through
They probably won’t do anything
you wouldn’t want them to
Probably won’t profile you
Probably won’t share
Probably won’t find another use
For everything that’s there
Probably.
Light touch, light touch
Cut the red tape down
All those pesky little rules
Getting business off the ground
Your data’s safe with us
Probably
That’s the line
Just give us fewer rules
And everything will be fine
Light touch, light touch
Nothing here to see
Funny how your privacy
Became bureaucracy
When they want your data
It’s innovation
When you want it protected
It’s regulation
When they want fewer rules
It’s economic growth
And when you ask where this ends?
Well…
Nobody’s proposing anything.
Yet.
Give them your postcode
Give them your vote
Give them your habits
Whatever you wrote
Give them the rules
Then watch them complain
That protecting the public
Is holding back gain
Light touch, light touch
Cut the red tape down
Privacy’s expensive
When there’s data going round
Your data’s safe with us
Probably
So relax
They only want the freedom
To loosen up the Acts
Light touch, light touch
Progress guaranteed
Funny how your private life
Became something business needs
We value your privacy.
Probably.