BARD RECORDS

Tag: Indi-Glo Blue

  • Everything’s Fine

    Everything’s Fine

    The figures are improving.
    Reality may require adjustment.

    Everything’s Fine watches reassurance become a substitute for evidence. Bad news is softened, inconvenient details are reframed and anything that still feels wrong is quietly handed back to the person experiencing it. Nothing needs to improve immediately, provided the explanation does.

    ► BUY
    OBSERVED BEHAVIOUR

    Good evening.
    Please remain calm.
    There is no cause for concern.

    Numbers look better if you squint just right,
    Graph goes up in a gentle light.
    Cost of living’s “cooling down,”
    Just ignore the heat you’re standing in now.
    Queues are longer, but that means demand,
    Crime’s just vibes, not data, understand?
    They say it slow, they say it clean,
    They say “trust us” — they say “routine.”

    If it feels worse, that’s on you,
    If it feels wrong, you misread the news.
    Experts agree, unanimously,
    That you’re mistaken — statistically.

    Everything’s fine! (fine fine)
    Nothing to see! (see see)
    If you’re struggling, that’s not the sign —
    It’s your mentality!

    Everything’s fine! (so fine)
    We checked the chart! (we checked)
    If life feels harder than it did last year,
    You’re not accounting for the progress part.

    Fine… fine… fine…
    Say it again.

    Temporary pain for a permanent fix,
    That’s year eight of the same old script.
    They cut it once, then once again,
    Efficiency’s sharp if you’re not on the end.

    Smiles on screens in HD gloss,
    Explaining gently what you’ve lost.
    They nod along, they sympathise,
    Then move the line and monetise.

    No need to shout, no need to scream,
    It’s all been managed behind the scenes.
    If hope feels thin, if trust feels gone,
    That’s just the system working on you.

    Everything’s fine! (fine fine)
    Look around! (look around)
    If it’s falling apart at the edges now,
    That’s just growth making noise, calm down.

    Everything’s fine! (so fine)
    They assure! (assure)
    If you’re tired, broke, or quietly mad,
    Congratulations — that means it’s working as planned.

    And if you don’t feel fine…
    There’s a form for that.

    Everything’s fine! (fine fine)
    Say it clean! (say it clean)
    Repeat it slow till you believe
    What you’re told, not what you see.

    Everything’s fine! (still fine)
    End of report. (end of report)
    This message will repeat until
    You stop asking for more.

    Thank you for your patience.
    Normal service has resumed.

  • Offended On Demand

    Offended On Demand

    Outrage has become
    remarkably well organised.

    Offended on Demand watches grievance turn into performance. Every phrase becomes potential evidence, every disagreement becomes an event and outrage itself starts to look less like a reaction than a routine. The song exaggerates the ritual until the need to be offended becomes the thing being mocked.

    ► BUY
    OBSERVED BEHAVIOUR

    Scrolling through my feed at 3 AM, another meltdown trending
    Someone said “policeman,” now the world is ending
    Karen’s in the comments, clutching pearls so tight
    “I’m triggered, I’m victimized, this isn’t polite!”

    They hunt for microaggressions like it’s big game
    Turn a dad joke into drama, scream “shame, shame, shame”
    Need their daily outrage fix just to feel alive
    Without a cause to cancel, how do they survive?

    I’m offended, I’m offended, hear me roar!
    Got my feelings weaponized, ready for war
    Every word’s a hate crime, every glance a sin
    If you’re not triggered yet, where do I begin?
    Offended on demand, it’s the new cool trend
    Virtue signal louder till the bitter end
    I’m offended, yeah I’m offended, clap for me now
    ‘Cause nothing says “I’m special” like a Twitter meltdown!

    Beard? Threatening. Brunch? Oppressive somehow
    Hot dog as a sandwich? That’s violence, wow
    Don’t touch me, don’t call me, don’t even breathe near
    My safe-space bubble’s got a fifty-foot sphere

    They love the victim card, it’s their favourite suit
    Play it like a fiddle while they tweet and salute
    If no one’s mad at them, they start the fight
    Offense is oxygen, they need it every night

    I’m offended, I’m offended, make it viral quick!
    Got my pitchfork ready for a grammar nit-pick
    Language evolves? Nah, that’s erasure, bro
    Call it fireman, watch the outrage flow
    Offended on demand, it’s a full-time gig
    Karen’s unite, let’s make the internet big
    I’m offended, yeah I’m offended, bow down low
    To the kings and queens of perpetual “no”!

    Hey snowflake, here’s a tissue for your tears
    World’s not your therapist, dry those fears
    Grow a spine or log off, pick one today
    ‘Cause real problems exist while you rage away…

    We’re offended, we’re offended, join the choir!
    Turn molehills to mountains, set the world on fire
    But deep down we know it’s just a sad charade
    Offended for likes in our outrage parade
    Offended on demand… (echo: “How dare you! How dare you!”)

    “Thanks for the engagement… you’re all so brave!”