Department For Watching Dinghies

Welcome to the Department for Watching Dinghies.
Please do not confuse watching with stopping.

Department For Watching Dinghies was inspired by the reassuring discovery that Britain now has a Border Security Command capable of detecting, monitoring, reviewing and, occasionally, investigating why a boat has already arrived on the beach. Two uncontrolled landings on consecutive days produced the traditional response: concern, condemnation and an urgent review. The people responsible for border security were promptly asked to investigate what had gone wrong with border security, presumably after checking nobody else had been put in charge of it while they weren’t looking. Elsewhere, Border Force vessels were unavailable for another Channel incident, so the Coastguard called the RNLI. A charity turned up before the machinery of the state. Then came perhaps the finest reassurance of all: you can’t stop everything all of the time. Quite right. Nobody expects perfection. We had simply assumed the organisation called Border Security Command might occasionally lean towards the security part. Still, the drones can watch, the radar can detect, the screens can monitor and the Government can review. If all else fails, somebody can always stand on the beach and count them in. Welcome to the Department for Watching Dinghies. Please enjoy the view.