The figures are improving.
Reality may require adjustment.
Everything’s Fine watches reassurance become a substitute for evidence. Bad news is softened, inconvenient details are reframed and anything that still feels wrong is quietly handed back to the person experiencing it. Nothing needs to improve immediately, provided the explanation does.
Good evening.
Please remain calm.
There is no cause for concern.
Numbers look better if you squint just right,
Graph goes up in a gentle light.
Cost of living’s “cooling down,”
Just ignore the heat you’re standing in now.
Queues are longer, but that means demand,
Crime’s just vibes, not data, understand?
They say it slow, they say it clean,
They say “trust us” — they say “routine.”
If it feels worse, that’s on you,
If it feels wrong, you misread the news.
Experts agree, unanimously,
That you’re mistaken — statistically.
Everything’s fine! (fine fine)
Nothing to see! (see see)
If you’re struggling, that’s not the sign —
It’s your mentality!
Everything’s fine! (so fine)
We checked the chart! (we checked)
If life feels harder than it did last year,
You’re not accounting for the progress part.
Fine… fine… fine…
Say it again.
Temporary pain for a permanent fix,
That’s year eight of the same old script.
They cut it once, then once again,
Efficiency’s sharp if you’re not on the end.
Smiles on screens in HD gloss,
Explaining gently what you’ve lost.
They nod along, they sympathise,
Then move the line and monetise.
No need to shout, no need to scream,
It’s all been managed behind the scenes.
If hope feels thin, if trust feels gone,
That’s just the system working on you.
Everything’s fine! (fine fine)
Look around! (look around)
If it’s falling apart at the edges now,
That’s just growth making noise, calm down.
Everything’s fine! (so fine)
They assure! (assure)
If you’re tired, broke, or quietly mad,
Congratulations — that means it’s working as planned.
And if you don’t feel fine…
There’s a form for that.
Everything’s fine! (fine fine)
Say it clean! (say it clean)
Repeat it slow till you believe
What you’re told, not what you see.
Everything’s fine! (still fine)
End of report. (end of report)
This message will repeat until
You stop asking for more.
Thank you for your patience.
Normal service has resumed.